You may be getting ready to take the biggest step of your life- to join your hand and heart with someone else & pledge to spend all your days together. It is such a wonderful and exciting time ~ congratulations.
That would mean, probably, that your courtship until now has been filled with blissful, sweet, loving words, caring actions, reveling in the joy and warmth of new love & basking in each other’s glow.
Your wedding day will probably include speeches, speaking of eternal love & happiness, as you get ready to spend your life with your soul mate.
After the ongoing wedding preparations, the meetings, the stress, the registries and the big day itself, life settles down into… life. The same routine that you had before the big wedding ~ up early, work, any extra curricular activities/ sports or part time studies/ part time job, home, bed, to get ready to do it all over again the next day. Oh but wait, there is one new addition… your new spouse who requires some of your time as well. And while it is comforting to have someone to come home to, to discuss your day and enjoy their companionship, somewhere along the way, be it 2 years or 10 years or 25 years, your companion falls in the category of “routine” as well. A kiss in the morning, a kiss when you get home (maybe) and the requisite “how was your day?” as the rushing around continues. These are the times that we need to step back, slow down and remember that initial love feeling ~ and let your spouse know. When you hug your spouse, don’t rush it and move onto your next chore ~ stop and hug them… tight, take a moment to exhale and enjoy your partner, who is always there for you and is there now because they wanted to spend each and every day with you.
Tell them you love them ~ just the fact that you got married, doesn’t mean that you don’t have to or need to tell them. You should know from experience how nice and comforting it is to hear the words “I love you” , especially in this day of non stop action, work, kids, stress etc. To know that your special bond still exists and that above everything that love will always comfort you through. I love you; I cherish you, my everything, my only, my man, my woman, my love.
Show them. Occasionally after the honeymoon phase, the kissing slows down and like everything else, may become routine or forgotten. If it’s a missing treasure in your household, start with a kiss in the morning when you leave for work, a kiss in the evening when you get home and a kiss at bedtime. If there are no kisses happening at all right now, then 3 kisses a day can’t be a bad start. Kisses are just like the loves words ~ just because you got married and kissed A LOT (clink clink clink) at the wedding, doesn’t mean that the quota was met and that kissing is unnecessary. Kissing for a husband and wife can mean… I’m still attracted to you, I want to connect with you, I desire you, I love you.
Imagine being in your relationship with the person that you love, that you married or intend to marry, or at least that you know you want to spend the rest of your life with them… and not hearing them say ‘I love you”, never receiving kisses or hugs from them. Imagine that feeling. Can you feel it?
Now imagine your spouse feeling that way as well. And if you can now imagine, 2 people in the same relationship, both feeling the same loneliness, the same isolation, the same neglect or sadness. These are the times when in come the external forces ~ the “friends’ who are always here for you, the friends who appreciate you and think that you are dynamic, witty, attractive, personable and let you know it. Above all, they don’t understand how your spouse could not appreciate & cherish you. See the pattern?
Stop these external forces before they push open the door to your marriage/ union ~ speak the love words, demonstrate by holding their hands, hugging them, kissing them & letting them know that they are still the one you’d choose to marry all over again.
